February 22nd, 2012
By Peter Le Force
-- I thought the market for crazy had nearly all but collasped
with this year's GOP presidential campaign circus act, but now a bunch of old gray (and probably no longer sexually active Republican) men are all excited about trans-vaginally probing (and trans-vaginally anything-elsing, I would be betting) women who are pregnant and considering an abortion. They had no women testify about the issue - just men.
To the extent that this is an idea acceptable to Republicans
, let me propose just one small mini-amendment, as an insurance policy for the effectiveness of this electrifying plan.
Since we have the humilation and shame reverse incentives in place for women
, let's take the fathers by force, tie them down and give them Bailing Wire Cytoscopies. Let's face it, most mothers would have had a hard time getting pregnant with out the aiding and abetting of a male somewhere in the neighborhood. And men already understand the two male credos we live by: 1) no pain no gain; 2) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
My bet is a few men would actually die in the process.
The ones that live, however, will probably behave in a more circumspect manner going forward.
Vote on that, oh, male-dominated trans-vaginal probe committee! And cytoscopy forth -- in good cheer!
NOTE: (for those of you who are not familiar with the term "cytoscopy", it's like a colonscopy, only they do it on the front end - to pry, prod, peak and poke around in your nether regions - for anomalies, tumors or other nondescript, un-unecessary and not wanted appendages in your kidneys and bladder)