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Posts Tagged → Torture Fathers Along With Mothers

Mothers Get Trans-Vaginal Probes -- Fathers Get Bailing Wire Cytoscopies!

By Peter Le Force -- I thought the market for crazy had nearly all but collasped with this year's GOP presidential campaign circus act, but now a bunch of old gray (and probably no longer sexually active  Republican) men are all excited about trans-vaginally probing (and trans-vaginally anything-elsing, I would be betting) women who are pregnant and considering an abortion.  They had no women testify about the issue - just men. To the extent that this is an idea acceptable to Republicans, let me propose just one small mini-amendment,  as an insurance policy for the effectiveness of this electrifying plan. Since we have the humilation and shame reverse incentives in place for women, let's take the fathers by force, tie them down and give them Bailing Wire Cytoscopies.  Let's face it, most mothers would have had a hard time getting pregnant with out the aiding and abetting of a male somewhere in the neighborhood. And men already understand the two male credos we live by: 1) no pain no gain;  2)  what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My bet is a few men would actually die in the process.  The ones that live, however,  will probably behave in a more circumspect manner going forward. Vote on that, oh,  male-dominated trans-vaginal probe committee!  And cytoscopy forth -- in good cheer!   NOTE:  (for those of you who are not familiar with the term "cytoscopy", it's like a colonscopy, only they do it on the front end - to pry, prod, peak and poke around in your nether regions - for anomalies, tumors or other nondescript, un-unecessary and not wanted appendages in your kidneys and bladder)