Category → The Aspirin Birth Control Method
By Johnny Tremaine — Rick Santorum’s Mr. Sugar, Foster Friess, drove sexism and poor taste to an exalted state in his interview with Angela Mitchell recently, saying that in simpler times birth control was much cheaper. All you had to do was give a woman an aspirin and make her hold it between her knees until the, uh, opportunity passed — and she wouldn’t get pregnant. He chortled at his own wittiness when he said it. In other words, if women would just quit spreading their legs at the drop of a hat, birth control, abortion, and I presume – world hunger – would all be eliminated from the planet. In other words, if there weren’t so many sluts, the world would be all right. I wonder how long that old, rich idiot’s brain has been dying. Those words will be heard around the world in three days and Santorum’s so-called campaign will become an even bigger joke than it already was in counties where people’s brains are still functioning and the average education level attained is above second grade. If these people weren’t so wealthy, many of them would be whiling their days away out at the state hospital: whitling, belching, drooling, and passing gas indiscriminately. In other words, spending their time more productively than usual – for them.
Then he said he did not know what all the fuss about sex was. Understandable — particularly when you are a hundred and five and can no longer find anyone interested in having sex with you – even if you pay them a preposterously large amount of money. What rock did this lizard crawl out from under – and how can he see in all that daylight that he’s unaccustomed to experiencing.