June 27th, 2012
By Bifford Caulfield -- I was somewhat startled when he said it -- and immediately thought to myself -- I wonder why he said that?
No body was questioning whether or not he was earning his pay -- and even though the Republicans in the House of Representatives and Senate do not have much to run back home and brag about to their constituencies. Perhaps Senator Brown felt that if a few people at the gathering might ask him why the obstructionist Republicans keep- voting "no" on jobs bills, student loan interest rate help, bills protecting women from spousal abuse, debt ceiling increase bills and a balanced approach to raising revenue and paying down some of the national debt over time -- and that if he had a "ready-to-cook, right-out-of-the-can" answer that he had been doing "really" important things -- like meeting running around the world meeting kings and queens --and, I presume, a crown prince here and there as well -- they might realize that he wasn't like all those other Republicans. He -- Scott Brown -- was busy doing important, worldly, complicated and "secret" things.
I was a little relieved, as well. I mean, what if he had said that he was in non-stop secret meetings with Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the
Cheshire Cat -- pretty much every waking hour. Or was holding clandestine meetings with Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and Chewbacca -- plotting they counter-attack and routing of the Evil Empire.
Scott Brown was something of an unknown to me. I, like many other progressives from the West Coast just assumed that filling a Senate seat
held by a Kennedy for three decades or so -- in Massachusetts, no less -- was pretty much a lock for Democrats. It was curious that word kept surfacing that he had worked for a period of time as a porn star -- or "call girl -- er, boy" for a while (someone even wrote that he had an active web site for the purpose of promoting himself in the profession a short while before the campaign. Then -- shock -- he got elected. Then he forced the transaction fee to be removed from the Dodd-Frank bill -- saving Wall Street Banker types around $19 billion dollars. He was richly rewarded when they paid him back with 5/10,000ths of a percent return on the money he saved them, by them ponying up $10 million dollars or so for his campaign against Elizabeth Warren -- Democratic Senate candidate running against Brown for the Massachusetts Senate seat in Washington. He made Wall street 19 billion -- they paid him $10 million for his good work. At least he's not a partisan, it doesn't seem like. It seems like he's just a plain old fashion political prostitute. But $10 million on $19 billion. That's like Scott Brown returning a wallet he found in the street to the businessman who lost it, thus returning to him his driver's license, credit cards, bank cards, etc, as well as the $100 dollar bill the wallet contained -- and the businessman was so thankful that he gave him a nickel for a reward. $19 billion for $10 million -- $100 dollars for 5 cents -- one thin nickel. Scott Brown is not only corrupt -- he's really a really cheap prostitute -- and I suspect -- not very bright.
I did more or less give him the benefit of the doubt though -- until he started meeting in secret with kings, queens -- and mad hatters and
cheshire cats. The last thing he just did was refuse to participate in a debate if anybody related to the Edward Kennedy Institute was thought to be going to be involved in his campaign against Elizabeth Warren. And then this evening he held a big debate -- all by himself -- Scott Brown -- debating Scott Brown. Should be a thriller. I hope he didn't take the adversarial thing to far and end up dissing himself for claiming to have met with kings and queens and flying machines -- in pieces on the ground -- or some such.
Scott Brown's campaign officials, earning their senatorial campaign "chops" by being "baptized by fire", and responded with some political
campaign "Chinese Water Torture" of their own. Drip by drip, the walked it back. The meetings weren't "secret", they said, "they were private". And Scott actually "mispoke" in that one speech when he mentioned "kings and queens". It wasn't. There were no "kings and queens", they were just dignitaries -- some from foreign countries -- most from here in the United States. And they weren't actually "meetings", and they weren't even really private. It was just public events that he attended -- which were also attended by other politicians and leaders, etc., etc.
Now it bothered me a lot that a Republican got elected to Ted Kennedy's senate seat. I was aghast when dutiful little Scotty forced the
Senate to remove the transaction tax -- which was supposed to help pay for bailing out the wild west bankers when their next Ponzi scheme collapsed -- and threatened to take down all of civilization with it -- or at least that's what Hank Paulsen warned us about -- as he fretted about his $600 million dollars in Goldman Sachs stock that hung in the balance -- while Congress fiddled -- and faddled.
And no doubt about it -- Scott seemed a little light weight during the last few months when he would go off the GOP message -- and then he would suddenly snap back on track like a over-stretched rubber band recoiling when it was released. From time to time he would come out, and very assertively express views counter to Republican dogma -- then snatch it back -- saying he was misquoted -- and restate the Frank Lunz version homogenized just for Republicans. But with all that, overall, just seemed a little inexperienced -- and little unsubstantial, and kind of mostly worried about looking good -- and seeming cool -- with an eye out for the chicks, I imagine.
Somebody should probably swing by his place and check out his medicine chest. And if there's nothing there, take a sample of grit from his bong, and run some tests on the residue of a few ashtrays.
If they don't find anything in all that -- just run him out to the "funny farm" for a quick once over -- and send him home with a stiff sedative -- you know something to knock the edge of those psycho-tropic paroxysms that keep popping up, turrets-like -- at his public appearances.