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Pooper-Scoopers Beware! NBA Champions – Miami Heat — And Le Bron James — Free At Last!

By Bobby Toulaine — Let’s all breathe a little easier now.  In the superficial world and ephemeral air of professional sports at the highest level of absurdity — Le Bron James has finally delivered.  He has arrived.  He is forever — now — above reproach.  That’s the way it works in the world of commercialized sports for profit in America.  And Le Bron  — as they say — is now a “made man”.

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If your professional career is that of a journalist who gets paid to write about other human beings who are actually out there “doing” real things — and your life is comparable to that of a  municipal park service pooper-scooper operator  — whose job it is to find the stool — watch it closely — and then over-analyze it ad-infinitum — in perpetuity — for the teaming masses that we all pretend are incapable of doing that for themselves — this has got to be a very scary day for you.

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Most of what these guys have earned a living writing about during the NBA Finals for the last few years — just went out the window.  The wicked witch is dead.  The un-finisher has mutated into the finisher — with gusto and with authority.  And professional writers everywhere are “freaked” at the prospect of sitting somewhere late at night next year — staring helplessly into their flickering iPads.  Empty. Stone cold empty.  Congratulations, Le Bron.  You have arrived!  Or, as the inimitable Charles Barkley so eloquently put it last night (Not!).  You’re the “homecoming queen” – now!