Category → Fast and Furious
Spotlight on Democracy Managing Director
By Bifford Caulfied — Darrell Issa has always struck me as a guy who like the limelight, and who was a little baffled that he wasn’t more of a big deal in Congress — he certainly should have been — as much money as he had.
He pretty much announced that he was going to preside over endless investigations of the Obama administration once he assumed his chairmanship — and, to be honest, I have been surprised at how modest his “vestigations”, by golly, have been, once he was in the driver’s seat. I thought that perhaps when it was time to wear his “big boy pants”, he somehow didn’t have the “plumbing” to follow up on his cavalier boasts once the hat was squarely on his head – but maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe, like his brethern, the “Tea Party” crazies, he was just waiting for the “big fish” — you know, one of dem dar black boys in the gov’ munt.
Issa has always seemed a little over-done, his eye-brows a little to raised, and a little “too cool for school” for a tea party political hack -- but it would be easy to understand his desperation to to something big and significant – politically — if he somehow managed to come into several hundred million dollars in his professional career — and somehow either came by it too easily — or too surreptiously — for it to feel like a real accomplishment to him — so he thought putting on his tea-party knickers and fake pioneer hat and going out there — Don Quixote like — to right the unrightable wrong — and put ‘merika” back on the right track — might fill that big old empty place in his psyche.
So now, bless his heart, he has kotched himself a big one — the attorney general — (did I mention that Holder is black ), so that must make him bigger, tougher, and stronger than that biggest darn big shot in the whole “Just-us Department”.
It should be interesting though — the come-uppance he’s got coming. I mean, if Bush and Cheney taught us anything – it’s that when you are President — or work for the President — and you don’t want to do what Congress, the courts — or even the Supreme Court tells you to — there’s not a damn thing anybody can do about it. Congress has the Sergeant-at-Arms, who can wrestle and 80 year old woman to the ground and through her out of the capitol building if Congress wants him to — but that’s about it. And the Supreme Court is jut a puffy-faced corp of impudent, pretentious, political hack slobs — and they have no body. About all they can do is pass gas in their long black robes and bask in in the evervescense of their own flatulence — for whatever titillating delight that might bring them. I mean, if Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, and Dick Cheney — can commit treason, perjury, and possibly have been responsible for any number of secret agent exposures, captures, and deaths — and all that happens is a lot of made for television drama — talk about constitutional crisis — and then a several hundred thousand dollar a year cushy retirement — complete with 24 hour a day secret service protection — why should Obama or Hold either one sweat the small stuff. The Supreme Court could order them hanged at sunrise — and all that would happen, probably, is unidentified black SUV’s would follow them everywhere they went — day or night — for the rest of their lives — or until they met their untimely and mysterious demise. Rant on, Darrell Issa — and the rest of us will watch your flailings — and see how that works out for you.
But I have a little tip for you, Darrell. Whatever you do — don’t spend too much time thinking about Osama Bin Laden and Seal Team 6 — if you can keep yourself from it. You’re a big boy now! And the only “Fast and Furious” you are likely to end up with — is a “Fast and Furious” butt-kicking — by the President, Erick Holder, the IRS, and the Justice Department. Enjoy!