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Category → Darrell Issa – Attorney General Holder

Darrel Issa Is a Fool, A Faker, and A Beer Label Breaker!

By Bifford Caulfied -- A rich one, I'll grant you that.  But still. .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      . When his committee was hearing testimony and investigating the myriad issues involved and surrounding women's reproductive health, planned parenthood, and convenient, affordable access to contraception and healthcare for women -- particularly young women -- he did not call a single woman to testify.  Now who but a cretin would pretend to be investigating issues of a most personal and particular nature to a specific gender in the 21st century -- but would not call one person from that group to offer comments or testimony on the issue?  I have already told you -- a fool and a faker! .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      . We have an old saying we fall back on out in West Texas when things bog down, get complicated, or we just plain ass don't know or can't figure out what to do next.  The saying is, "Let's do something -- even if it's wrong.  Darrell Issa must have relatives from West Texas, because he's certainly got that one down.  But I wish it was that simple. .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      . He's all over this "Fast and Furious" thing that Bush and his crowd started, selling cheap guns to know killers and murders, with a plan to follow the guns to the perpetrators of violence in the drug wars of Mexico.  Wow.  That's pretty naive -- and a whole lot  in-observant.  All you have to do to find the drug boys in Mexico is have lunch at a side-walk cafe on any given Tuesday -- or standing somewhere waiting for transportation a couple times a week -- and the odds are pretty high that you're going to be investigating drug runners and their weapons of mass murder up close and personal in the not-so-too-pretty-long time away, now.  They're are killing people everywhere pretty much every day all day anywhere in Mexico -- so to cook up some "cock-and-bull" story about sleuthing out those mysteriously furtive and secretive bad guys puts you out there with the "Beer Label Breakers" I was talking about.  Sober up -- do you job -- keep your head down -- and pay attention.  You want to "kotch them bad guys" -- pull your pistol out and shoot in any directions -- or several if you're one of the aggressive, committed ones -- and you'll find yourself a bad guy all right. .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      . Naw. That's not it.  I seriously doubt that Darrell Issa could give one big fat s--t about finding bad guys, or sniffing out the  trail of a border guard or Texas Ranger killing all the way up the chain of command right in to the Attorney General's office -- or getter yet -- the oval office -- right there where Barack Obama and Eric Holder cooked up this ingenuous plan to undermine their administration and their credibility with the American people for a plan that's right up there with the "bridge to nowhere" and "yellow cake" from Niger as plans to really lock down your credibility.  No, I don't think so.  Have baked plans like that in the last decade or so would have been way more likely to come out of the man-cave planning cauldrons of George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitx, et al, et al.  What's that you say?  That is where this cockamaymee idea originated?  In the halls of infamy presided over by the "Couldn't Shoot Straight -- But Made A Whole Boat Load of Money Pretending to try -- Gang -- of Bush and Cheney?   Makes perfect sense now. .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      . But that's not really what Darrel Issa's all about.  He's already got plenty of money (I don't for the life of me know how he got it -- dumbest guy finishes first contest, I guess).   Not suggesting that he wouldn't accept a few tens of millions more every other Saturday or something -- if you made it easy enough -- and didn't soil any of his fancy duds in the process. No.  "The Darrel" just wants to be considered a big boy -- by the REALLY big boys.  And he wants to be famous.  And on television.  And he wouldn't mind if you could give him some feedback about how pretty he looks -- you know -- in those big meetings he's holding.  And what a tough guy he is -- calling out the Attorney General of the U. S. of A., like that.  Because in addition to all the other things Darrell wants and likes -- he wants to show the tea party neo-con - big government hating -- rape's okay crowd of the Republican right -- that he's got the political "chops" to be taken seriously as a Presidential candidate for 2016.  And don't worry about the money.  He's got the $300 million or so seed money to get it "jump-started" -- and then the  Citizen's United Supreme Court cabal funds will kick in and take care of the really heavy lifting down the backstretch, around the curve and headed for home.  As long as he get's to look spanky slick everyday irrespective of the vicissitudes of his political fortune -- when the time comes.  Yeah, that's Darrel Issa.  He's way over his head -- and a half-century out in front of his pay-grade --  but seeing Darrell looking good on TV goes a long way toward easing the angst for Darrell -- when you're Darrel Issa.  He's an empty suit.  And he's pretty dumb and impressively incompetent for a guy that rich.  And he's -- well, I already said it -- A Fool, A Faker, and a -- Well maybe a fine wine label breaker. That's Darrell!  You go girl!