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BMW Erection of Preposterous Duration Forces California Man to Sue Motorcycle Manufacturer and Aftermarket Seat Maker Corbin-Pacific!

By Bifford Caulfield -- California resident  Henry Wolf  has filed a lawsuit against the two companies mentioned above as a result of the ridiculously long-lasting “boner” he alleges resulted from a 4 hour pleasure ride (no cheap fun or pun intended) on his 1990′s vintage BMW motorcycle.  The anomaly resulted shortly after Mr. Wolf installed an aftermarket seat made by seat manufacturer Corbin-Pacific and then went for a cruise.

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The problem popped up during the motorcycle ride – and the result was severe pain that did not dissipate when the ride was over.  And a disconcerting case of prolonged erection — that also did not go away for what Mr. Wolf alleges was several months  — and which  several reports stated lasted 20 months.  One man’s nightmare is another man’s treasure-trove and dream-life  I guess.

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In an interesting and possibly unique twist on the “emotional pain” and “alienation” that one often hears associated with personal injury lawsuits, Mr. Wolf apparently alleged that a significant part of his “pain” was that he lost his most credible alibi for declining to have sex with his wife.  One of the parties to the marriage, the husband or the wife — it was not specified — is reputed to have remarked that the circumstance may have saved Mr. Wolf’s marriage.  It was not readily apparent whether or not Mr. Wolf was also seeking damages for this unexpected and unwanted turn of events precipitated by  the ever-so “provocative”  seat.

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While urologists interviewed confirmed that they had from time to time seen cases of erectile dysfunction that were believed to have occurred as a result of  improperly or anatomically “not-a-good-fit bike seats, none apparently admitted to having seen a case of unwanted and prolonged erection resulted from such an encounter.  Perhaps because erections in general may not have been universally  perceived by the men — or their wives — as being such an undesirable occurrence — the instances of motorcycle seat caused pro-longed erections may have gone somewhat under-reported in the popular media.  A nagging question I had on first blush was:  “Do you think  it  took  Mr. Wolf 20 months to decide he had a problem.  Maybe he is just uncommonly patient. And his wife unfathomably understanding.

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On a day in which the national media and the talking heads of cable television were frothed up and hyperventilating with the burning dual issues of whether or not President Obama should have ordered the killing of Osama Bin Laden –  and whether or not it was wise for him to commit American support in some form to the Afghani’s through 2024.  But however you come down on these issues, you have to admit that pausing a moment to consider the plight of Mr. Wolf’s recalcitrant erection may have provided just the right flavor of icing on the cake — as well as a worthy contemplation with which to end the day — Tuesday, May 1, 2012.